I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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