I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
