Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
