I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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