just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
