Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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