Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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