I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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