I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
