Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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