Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
