Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
