I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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