There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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