just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
