...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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