Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
