i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
