I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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