using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
