Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
