Pregnant stripper...not hot.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.