I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...