i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
As shirtless as possible
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!