Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.