no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
