We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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