I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
