Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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