How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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