I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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