why didn't you poke me back
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize