I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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