It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
