Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
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However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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