Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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