I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
