i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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