I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize