I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
