I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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