Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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