I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
