I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
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I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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