Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
two words: eviction party
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
