i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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