so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
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Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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