i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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