I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
