Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
