Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
