he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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