dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
