did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish i was in the wii world.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
