Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
