Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
