no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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