Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
