Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
