I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
