Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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