I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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