She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
