You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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