I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
