You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
