They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
