yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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