i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
