ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
