I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I need to align my fucking chakras
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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