the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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