jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
